My friend told me this story about himself, it has a moral like the last story but I will reveal the moral on this one.
So Patrick (no not that Patrick) was in Bible College had a new job and earned enough and saved for years to get a shiny "new like" little car (boy confidence booster ). Not only did he have a little more spring in his step but he finally had what he thought was needed to finally impress the girl he had wanted to ask out for years....so he gathered up the nerve and….she said yes! Yahoo! he was pretty stoked.
So he got his new car all cleaned up, polished off his glasses and went to meet her folks and pick her up. When he arrived he met the father at the door a little tension as the father glanced at the shiny car smirked a little looked down at Patrick looked him over and just said you bring her back safely son." yes mister Moorehouse" Patrick answered like a little kid (he is in his early 20’s) she was so beautiful coming out in a nice pretty dress with her hair beautiful and long walking to the car Pat couldn’t help but look around to see if anyone was looking.(feels pretty cool)he thought.
Going down the road Patrick was confident he had all his ducks in a row dinner reservations going to see "Sense and Sensibility" the car, the glasses, the girl everything is cool but now he is really going to blow her mind.....a brand new cassette player oh yea and not only that but he just bought the new U2 album "October" just out nobody has it. (not that she would have known or cared). Pretty sure I have the wrong movie just inser Chick flick here..
Bobby Trigloff Going down the road Patrick was confident he had all his ducks in a row dinner reservations going to see "Sense and Sensibility" the car, the glasses,(he wore glasses I figured he probably polished em allot that night) the girl everything is cool but now he is really going to blow her mind.....a brand new cassette player oh yea and not only that but he just bought the new U2 album "October" just out nobody has it. (not that she would have known or cared).
Patrick is thinking "this is going to go so well".
She is thinking "I hope we get home early enough for me to call Jimmy" (not that Jimmi) so Patrick pulls out the new cassette fumbles with it a little and goes to pop it in the new stereo when all of a sudden.....
He only glanced down for a second to pop that tape in but it was like a slow motion movie at this point. he noticed a nice flowery perfume as he leaned over a bit towards the stereo really a small consolation for the terrible stench the rest of this night will be in poor Patrick Cain’s memory even to this day. Out of the bushes and brush on the side of the road leaped a deer… No! a deer.
Leaping up in fright the poor deer ate his last lunch, landing square on the hood of the shiny newish Honda the leg of the Deer wedges in between the front bumper and the car tearing the leg clean off as the deer falls aside in the ditch screaming in Horror Jenny (no not that Jenny) sees the terrible image of a severed Deer Leg standing prominently in the air like a bloody furry Hood ornament!!! the car skids around Patrick had great control of this terror ride and pulled safely to a grinding halt half in the ditch.
you might think it is over....no my friend not by a long shot stay tuned….
Bobby Trigloff sitting hands gripped tightly to that molded plastic wheel serenaded by the screaming pipes of a Healthy young Lady fresh out of Choir practice (could be) and the dulcet tones of self hating Irish boys getting richer.(I know too much) anyways she’s screaming, he is trying not to cry and now the new cool cassette player won’t stop playing!!!! looking the leg of that poor dead deer Patrick realizes he needs to take care of it if she is ever going to tone it down a little. So as he gets out he motions to her and says "I am sorry, I will take care of this." she nods makeup running down her face now resembling what a young Alice cooper might look like!
Grabbing hold of the complete deer leg he thought it looked like a giant drumstick standing on end. He began to realize the damage that was done Patrick felt his heart sink. Hugging and tugging the giant furry leg it rips free! Patrick tosses the leg aside now he is covered in blood and fur!!!he turns to face his teary friend as she points to the rest of the deer and you got to be kidding me "the deer is alive!!”she shouts in tears.
Now Patrick knows what he has to do. The only way he can think to end the misery of the fallen animal was by picking up a very large Rock barely able to lift it high above his head he does it as hard as he can crack! He knows the animal is gone now mostly because of how loudly Jenny screamed from in a closed up car when the rock struck the deer.
Well the ducks are not in a row anymore they’re all dead no movie no dinner the tape won’t quit man what a day. Jenni is gonna Hyperventilate so as they drive carefully back to her house Patrick says here I will get you some air reaching over he turns the fan on..."sputter sputter Whinee BLAM!!!" it began shooting fur chunks and blood all over the beautiful dress.The screaming ensues it took a couple of seconds to turn the fan off off that is all it took I mean Holy Cow! She is covered with blood fur and horribly running makeup! clunking up to the house Jeni flew out of the car up the walk and into the house Patrick got out and attempted to walk up to the house but the Father came out looked over at the smashed car with stereo blairing said,"You better just go son."" Yes Sir." Patrick left defeated but with a new life lesson...Timing is everything and money shiney cars and stuff mean nothing when the dear hits the fan.
Bobby Trigloff Holly screamed “What the heck?”.
“I thought you would be the one who would love this story” I said
Holly didn’t like this one it kind of makes me sad because she is about the sweetest thing you ever did see and I thought she'd just love this one....oh well I forgot about the violence, I am a boy.
Bobby Trigloff Patrick Died a couple months after I wrote this but I did not know for some time....so I consider it a God thing.
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